Hosts: How to Rude Guests
Hi! How are you today?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA (you can really extend this laugh as long as you want to make them really uncomfortable, and your boss will think you're just laughing at a good joke! Go ahead, yuck it up for a solid minute!)
GOOD ONE! I'm feeling a little nine (pick a number, any number) myself!! Thanks for asking!
How many in your party?
(Credit to mylifeasaserver for how-to-advice)