Hosts: How to Rude Guests Host: Hi! How are you today?
Guest: Four.
Host: HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA (you can really extend this laugh as long as you want to make them really uncomfortable, and your boss will think you're just laughing at a good joke! Go ahead, yuck it up for a solid minute!)
Host: GOOD ONE! I'm feeling a little nine (pick a number, any number) myself!! Thanks for asking!
Guest: wh--
Host: How many in your party?
(Credit to mylifeasaserver for how-to-advice)
Trying to keep on a friendly smile during an afternoon rush



When someone comes in 15 minutes until close:



"The wait’s how long? That’s ridiculous. Can I speak with a manager? Forget it, we’ll just go somewhere else."